No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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