oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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