There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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