I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
