I smell stomach acid.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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