you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
