Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
