Screwed.edu
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
