Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
