Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
