ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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