Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm at about main and main street
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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