She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
