i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
