We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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