You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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