Soap is not a condiment
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
