Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
