Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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