And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Randomize
