some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
