im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
