Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
