would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
