We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
