So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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