just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
