is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
