p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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