At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
