yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
