I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Never joke about your clitoris.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
