If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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