exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize