Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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