trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
