He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just invented taco cereal.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
