I could have mohawked her pubes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
