his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize