I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize