yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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