her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
is it fun? or sober?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
