I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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