If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
