I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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