fuck your aforementioned shoe
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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