I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm really busy with my period
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