How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
