The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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