Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't notice because vodka
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
