YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
