god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ok first of all what the fuck
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
