yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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